Saturday, June 16, 2018

TLJ: What Went Wrong

Here is a list of things that sucked about The Last Jedi.  In no particular order.

I'm going from memory (because I have refused to watch the movie again since seeing it in the theater) as well as some Twitter posts and videos on Youtube.  Therefore, some of these things may not be completely accurate.  Heck, I may have even repeated myself.

Some are huge plot holes, some are small nitpicks.  But they all contributed to my disappointment.  Enjoy.  Feel free to add anything I missed in the comments!


1. The opening crawl starts with "The First Order reigns."  How is that possible?  The movie takes place right after the Force Awakens at the end of which the massive planet-sized base was destroyed.  The First Order should be licking their wounds and regrouping.

2. Leia Poppins.  Suddenly Leia is shown to be more powerful with the Force than any Jedi.  She can propel herself through space while surviving in an environment with no atmosphere and temperatures exceeding negative 400 degrees F.

3. Speaking of Leia Poppins, how does she manage to pull herself back to the command bridge?  She was blown outward while the ship kept moving at top speed.  It would have been well past Leia in a matter of seconds.

4. Luke died. Actually I would have been ok with him dying if his character hadn't been completely humiliated and assassinated. I figured he would die heroically in Episode 9.

5. Luke was a grumpy old hermit who refused to help his friends and family, completely betraying his character established in previous movies.

6. We never got to see Luke as an all-powerful Jedi master.  This is something I had been looking forward to seeing since they announced the sequel trilogy.

7. There were no lightsaber duels (where lightsabers clashed with other lightsabers).  A lightsaber duel should be a staple for any Star Wars episode.

8. No Lando

9. No Wedge

10. Admiral Ackbar, a hero and fan favorite from the original trilogy, was killed basically as an after-thought.  He deserved a better death or at least more acknowledgment.

11. Canto Bight.  Horrible side plot.  In general.  The entire sub plot could have been removed from the movie completely and it would not have affected the plot at all.

12. Rose and Finn get thrown in prison... for illegal parking?

13. BB-8 beats up three guards to the point of unconsciousness... with coins.

14. Rose and Finn just happen to find exactly who they need in their cell.  If DJ could escape all along, why was he still in there? 

15. The end result of Canto Bight: nothing.  It was pointless.  It accomplished nothing except to get Rose and Finn on the First Order ship.

16. Chewbacca didn't have a big enough role.  He had very little screen time.

17. Stormtroopers did nothing in the movie for the most part except stand around.

18. The whole plot of the movie revolves around a chase in space.  The First Order can't catch up to the Resistance until their fuel runs out.  This goes against all laws of physics.  An object in motion will stay in motion in space.  So even if they run out of fuel, they would still be going the same speed.

19. The First Order can't shoot down Poe because he is too close?  The turrets on a First Order ship were able to fire something that took out the TIE fighter Poe and Finn stole.  On the Death Star, the turrets were able to take out Rebel ships that came close to them.  That makes no sense.

20. Bombs dropped in outer space will not fall downwards due to the absence of gravity.  Don't give me that magnet garbage.

21. How is Rose's sister dropping the bombs from that ship with seemingly no protection from the vacuum of space?

22. Snoke was killed. I figured he would die in this trilogy...but in the second movie? And...

23. No explanation was given for Snoke's rise to power, his origin, how he found Kylo, etc.

24. In the original trilogy, Luke saw the good in Darth Vader and wanted to save him despite the fact that he murdered thousands of innocent beings...including children and his friend and mentor Obi Wan.  In this movie he actually considers murdering someone (his FAMILY member) in his sleep because he senses darkness in him?  That is not Luke Skywalker.

25. Luke milks alien boobs.  Did we really need to see that?

26. We are never shown Luke mourning Han.  But there was time to show him milking boobs?  Which would be a more significant use of screen time: milking boobs or showing him dealing with the loss of a close friend, family member (I'm considering Han his brother-in-law), and beloved character from the original trilogy?

27. Hyperspace suicide attack.  Why in the history of Star Wars space battles was that never thought of until now?  Seems like it would have really helped when you are trying to take down a Death Star or two.

28. Holdo: why wouldn't you just tell Poe your plan?  The whole Canto Bight scene could have been avoided. Lives could have been saved.

29. Why does Holdo have to pilot the ship on the suicide hyperspace run?  Couldn't a droid or auto-pilot handle that?

30. Poe leads a mutiny, was reprimanded, slapped, and demoted, and was criticized by both Leia and Holdo.  But then they say they like him.  Suddenly.

31. Maz Kanata.  How was that hologram communication recorded from that point of view?  Some sort of floating GoPro?  Also...

32. Not enough Maz Kanata who was seemingly established as an important character in the Force Awakens.  Her hologram communication seems to have been thrown in there just so that she could be in the movie.

33. The Resistance is so small...yet Poe somehow doesn't know who Holdo (a high ranking officer who stands out with purple hair) is.

34.  Rey defeats Luke Skywalker in a fight.  LUKE SKYWALKER!  LEGENDARY JEDI MASTER LUKE SKYWALKER defeated by someone who has never been trained. And he didn't even use his lightsaber.  He used a stick or something.

35. Rey becomes super powerful in a short amount of time with virtually no training.  Luke, arguably the most powerful Force-user ever, could not lift his x-wing out of a swamp after weeks (months?) of training.  Rey effortlessly removes a gazillion pounds of rocks so her friends can escape.

36. Why couldn't Leia Poppins lift the rocks to escape the cave if she is so powerful with the Force?

37. Kylo Ren loses again.  So in two movies, he has been beaten twice.  Kind of hard to take him as a serious threat in Episode IX.

38. Captain Phasma is under-used again.

39. Captain Phasma dies.

40. Captain Phasma's armor protects her from laser blasts.  Why don't all the stormtroopers have that armor?  And did Rian Johnson forget that Phasma was forced to do something at gunpoint in The Force Awakens?  Seems to me that if a blaster was pointed at her head it wouldn't exactly be a threat.

41. Captain Phasma orders Finn and Rose to be killed.  But instead of shooting them, they have to use some archaic execution weapon that they just happened to keep on board for this type of situation.  Plot convenience!

42. Speaking of plot convenience, after Holdo's suicide run, there is a huge explosion on board the First Order ship.  Rose and Finn are unhurt...yet all the other stormtroopers around them are dead.

43. Somehow after the explosion, Captain Phasma (who was right next to Rose and Finn) and a legion of troopers are now marching towards them from the other side of the ship. And...

44. Captain Phasma has a rifle while approaching.  Then she suddenly doesn't have it and uses some stick thing to fight Finn.  Then she has a pistol.

45. Why did the rich people on Canto Bight have child slaves?  Couldn't they afford droids who are less likely to cause problems and more likely to do better work due to being programmed machines?

46. Luke doesn't show up on Crait.  He Force projects himself there instead.  It would have been way, way, way better if he was there in person.

47. Why do ALL the tie-fighters follow the Millenium Falcon on Crait?

48. Finn was about to sacrifice himself to save the Resistance.  But then Rose crashes into him and stops him.  This allows the giant cannon weapon to fire.  So Rose potentially sacrifices the lives of dozens of people in order to save Finn. And she is THAT good of a pilot to know that her actions would not make him crash, killing her and him? Makes no sense.

49. Rose kisses Finn. Nothing transpired in that movie to make us think she was falling in love with him.

50. Poe refers to a door as a "big-ass" door.  That term doesn't really fit into the Star Wars universe.  Here are some other words that could have been used: colossal, enormous, gargantuan, giant, gigantic, humongous, immense, massive, monstrous, huge, titanic, over-sized, etc.

51. BB-8 controls an AT-ST.  Is there anything this droid can't do?  If he can control an AT-ST, shouldn't he have been piloting one of the ships on Crait instead of sacrificing another human life?

52. BB-8 fixes x-wing damage by bashing his head into the computer thingamabob.  That humor worked once when Han hit the Millenium Falcon with his hand to get the lights back on.  This was too contrived and nonsensical.

53. Snoke, who was supposedly SO powerful, could not sense Kylo turning the lightsaber next to him?

54. We never get to see the abilities of Snoke beyond Force lightning and moving things with his mind.  For such a powerful villain, I wanted to see more of what he could do.  I guess he could open telepathic pathways between others...but still. 

55. Couldn't the First Order hyperspace to somewhere in front of the Resistance ships and cut them off?

56. Those bombers were ridiculous.  So slow.  Seemingly no shields.  Why not use Y-wings which were capable of performing the same task at much faster speeds. Doesn't seem possible for the resistance to choose to take a step back with technology. These stupid ships, for what their job is, should have the MOST shielding possible!

57. Finn announces that he is happy that the rich people were hurt with their trashing of the casino place.  This doesn't make sense.  Surely the rich were insured.  Surely the casino was insured.  I don't think it hurt them all that badly.  And who is going to make all those repairs?  SLAVE LABOR!

58. If Rey grew up on a desert planet, how did she learn how to swim so well?

59. Rey's parents were nobodies?  All that lead-up.  All that set-up from the Force Awakens.  All the speculation.  Nope.  They were nobody. (*Note: Yes, Rey's heritage is revealed in TROS but this was written well before that).

60. Rey's Force vision in Maz Kanata's castle was not addressed at all.  Why did Obi-Wan speak to her?  Why did the lightsaber call to her?

61. Luke should have had a green lightsaber when he...I mean his stupid Force projected self...showed up on Crait.

62. Kylo destroys his mask.  I liked the mask.  It gave him an identity.  It showed how devoted he was to striking fear into others and how much he idolized Vader.  He didn't need it to breathe like Vader.  It was a symbol.  Now it's gone.

63. Speaking of Kylo's mask, why did Snoke all of a sudden tell him the mask was ridiculous.  So in all this time with Kylo, with all of his training, he never mentioned this before?  It's suddenly ridiculous and he doesn't want him to wear it?

64. Yoda shows up and interacts with nature. So suddenly Force Ghosts can alter the weather and summon lightning?  So why don't Force ghosts get together and destroy all the bad guys with lightning from above?

65. Yoda hits Luke on his head with his cane.  So Force ghosts can suddenly use objects to hurt living beings?  Why don't Force ghosts beat up the bad guys then?

66. Finn is somehow able to drag Rose's unconscious body across an entire battle field (in a short amount of time no less) without getting shot.

67. General Hux was turned into a bumbling fool.

68. Would "meditating" really kill arguably the most powerful Force user ever?

69. The gold dice that Luke gave Leia should have immediately disappeared when Luke did.  But no, it conveniently stayed visible until Kylo found it.

70. The Resistance ships were supposedly out of range of the First Order's cannons.  Again the laws of physics are ignored.  Unless the ships were traveling faster than the cannon blasts, it doesn't make sense that they could not do damage from a certain distance. How does a laser blast lose its effectiveness in space?  A laser blast shot at a ship from a yard away in space is going to do the same damage as a laser blast 100 yards away.

71. The whole mirror scene was a waste of time.  If Rian Johnson was trying to re-create a cave similar to that on Dagobah, he failed.  Rey sees some reflections of herself.  She asks her mirror image to show her her parents.  Guess what?  It doesn't show it to her.  Waste of time.

72. Too many obvious political messages.  Just tell me a good story.  Keep your political opinions out of it.

73. Snoke said that it was time to complete Kylo's training.  Seemed like JJ Abrams was setting something up for The Last Jedi.  And it was completely ignored.  Kylo received no additional training whatsoever.

74. No Knights of Ren.  It would have been nice to have some other compelling baddies (who can use a lightsaber and/or Force powers) especially now with Snoke gone.  All we have to look forward to now is more Kylo and only Kylo.

75. Luke claimed he went to that island to die.  He wanted no part of anything or anyone.  Then why did he leave behind a map?  Seems like he was open to being found...perhaps if there was a crisis that required his assistance.

76. R2-D2 and C3PO were pretty much useless background characters.

77. Bad editing on display (Google this if you don't believe me).  One of the Praetorian guards has two daggers.  But when he gets tied up with Rey and it is obvious he could have easily stabbed her in the back with his other dagger, it suddenly disappears.  I didn't notice this at first but now I wouldn't be able to un-notice it.

78. We had no emotional attachment to Rose's sister (because we had never met her on screen before and had never seen her interact with other characters).  We see Rose mourning her loss...but we don't get to see Luke mourn Han?

79. The Resistance ships are said to be faster than the First Order's.  Go back to any previous Star Wars movie and you will see that this is never a problem.  Heck the opening scene of the original Star Wars: A New Hope movie shows a small ship struggling to outrun a star destroyer.  The Milennium Falcon (widely considered to be one of the fastest ships in the Star Wars universe) had trouble shaking a star destroyer in The Empire Strikes Back.

80. The way loose ends were tied up and how the movie ended with that Force-sensitive kid looking at the stars...it seemed like the end of a trilogy, not the end of the second film in a trilogy.

81. Holdo, or someone else, could have easily done the suicide hyperspace maneuver earlier, thus saving countless other lives.  All the other ships had hyperspace capabilities.  Why wait until the Resistance has already lost a ton of lives and multiple ships?

82. The Force Awakens FELT like a Star Wars movie.  The tone of The Last Jedi was much different.  I almost felt like I was not watching a film that continued a series.  The Canto Bight scene especially did not have a Star Wars feel.

83. Finn is suddenly a decent pilot on Crait despite demonstrating the complete opposite in the last movie which took place like a few days before this movie.  It is also assumed that he piloted a First Order ship down to Crait...unless Rose the mechanic or BB-8 was a pilot.

84. Snoke seems to be clueless about the technology used to track the Resistance through hyperspace.  A powerful leader of a large military force would know this.  Plus Snoke had Force powers.  He could create a mental connection between two people light years away from each other...but couldn't read Hux's thoughts?

85. Too many incidences of subverting expectations just for the sake of subversion.  Luke throwing his lightsaber over his shoulder?  Really?  After all that dramatic set up at the end of The Force Awakens?  He could have easily held it solemnly, lost in thought, and then handed back to Rey or put in on his belt.  Instead, an important scene is ruined for a cheap laugh.

86. Finn and Rose show up at the casino exactly when the code breaker they are looking for is at a high stakes table exactly like Maz told them.  What are the odds?  Is the guy standing there 24/7?  Doesn't he have to eat, pee, or sleep?  Nope.  He's always gambling sun-up to sun-down.  And apparently he always, always, always wears the exact same outfit.

87. Kylo Ren gets wet while communicating with Rey.  This is not explained at all.  Can matter be transported by the Force?  If so, does this mean Luke Skywalker could have just been transported somewhere else?  Maybe he didn't die after all?!?!  His mechanical hand disappeared too so...maybe????Fingers crossed. (*Note: please remember this was written well before TROS was released)

88. DJ magically finds Finn and Rose on the edge of a cliff.  How?  More plot conveniences I guess.

89. The First Order lands miles away from the base on Crait.  Brilliant!  *and yes I realize that this same thing occurred in The Empire Strikes Back and The Phantom Menace.

90. Rey needs to translate Chewbacca's roars for Luke.  I think a Jedi Master who was friends with a Wookiee for 30 years would have been more able to communicate with him by now.  I am sure it didn't take Han 30 years to learn Chewbacca's language.

91. Rey has no faults.  No ways for her character to develop. Mary Sue.

92. Maz claimed that there was only one person (code breaker) in the galaxy who could complete the mission.  But then somehow DJ was able to do it too.

93. There was only one exciting scene: the throne room battle.  I can't say there were any other scenes that kept me on the edge of my seat.  And now that I know about all the faults in the choreography, I would no longer find it exciting the next time I watch it.

94. Speaking of that scene, why did all the Praetorian guards attack Kylo and Rey after Snoke was killed?  They undoubtedly served their master loyally.  But now he's dead.  Wouldn't at least some of them decide to remain loyal to the leader of the First Order...which is now Kylo Ren?

95. Nien Nunb, who is a veteran, experienced pilot, does not fly a ship in the battle on Crait.  But a janitor and a mechanic do (Finn and Rose).  I guess the Resistance did not want to give it their best effort.

96. The special effects in the movie were amazing...except Yoda.  Yoda looked cartoonish to me.  Especially when he first appears.

97. The Dreadnaught did not have any shields.  Come on!  Heck the Star Destroyers in Rogue One had shields that needed to be disabled first by Y-wings before it could be taken out.

98. Speaking of shields, hanger bays and bridges are able to be destroyed easily by a single fighter?  These are arguably the most important part of ships.  They should be the most heavily shielded.

99. Luke had to ask "how did you find me?"  A Jedi Master as wise as Luke would have remembered that he left a map to his location and realized exactly how he was found. 

100.  This one is just about the general feeling I had when I left the theater.  After seeing the prequels and after seeing Episode VII, I couldn't wait to return to the theater and see it again.  I couldn't wait for the next episode to come out.  After The Last Jedi, I left the theater not excited at all.  I had already pre-purchased tickets to see it again a few days later...and I didn't want to go.  So The Last Jedi did a bad job keeping this old Star Wars nerd excited about the saga.  Which, in my opinion, is proof that it FAILED.

101.  It has been established that astromech droids are required to calculate hyperspace courses for xwings.  So how was Luke able to get so far away without R2-D2?

102.  Chewbacca goes with Rey (who he has known for a few days) instead of staying with Luke (who he has known for 30 years).

103. Poe ignores Leia's orders to retreat and not attack the First Order ship.  Is he the only one with a radio that communicates with her?  Can't she just radio the other ships and order them to disengage?  She outranks Poe.

104.  And why would she bother calling off the attack?  Those bombers are so darn slow that even if she did order them to disengage and turn around, it would have been way too late.  The First Order would have caught up to them and blew them away.

105. How did Rey escape the First Order ship and get on the Falcon after her "duel" with Kylo Ren?  Did she contact Chewie to come and get her somehow?  Or maybe she magically transported herself onboard?

106. How is the Millenium Falcon able to travel through hyperspace across the galaxy without the need for more fuel (since apparently fueling is a thing now)?

107. Rose is said to work "behind pipes all day."  But when we first meet her, she's working security to stop deserters.  She calls Finn a traitor then goes on a mutinous secret mission herself.

108. Lasers apparently can "arc" in space.

109. Kylo Ren's lightsaber wounds are tended to...but no mention is made of his blaster wound in his gut.  He seems to have miraculously healed as he is unaffected by it despite the movie taking place a day or two after TFA.

110. The position of Kylo's facial wound moved since TFA.  Consistency is obviously not important to Rian Johnson.

111. When Rey shows up on Ach-to, Luke is wearing his old, tattered Jedi robes.  J.J. Abrams was obviously setting something up for the next movie (like, I don't know, Luke returning as an actual hero).  But then Luke changes to a beggar's outfit for the rest of his scenes.  So does Luke just put on his ceremonial robes for special occasions?  Like when a ship lands on his island?

112. If you watch TESB and AOTC again, you will witness the extraordinary difficulty level for a well-trained 850 year old Jedi master to lift and xwing and a giant pillar thingee (which was about to fall on Obi-Wan).  Watch how difficult and exhausting it is for Yoda.  Then watch Rey, with two lessons of training, lift a crap load of boulders (which would most likely weigh as much or more than an x-wing) like it was nothing.

113. Why are the super slow bombers ordered to "keep a tight formation?"  If they are so slow and unable to maneuver well, wouldn't it be a better military strategy to spread them out?  Concentrating them into one area gives the enemy an easier target.

114.  Many defenders of this movie will point to graphic novels and other outside materials to explain many of things presented so far in this list.  Casual movie-goers should not have to resort to content outside of a movie to understand/explain/enjoy the content inside a movie.

115. Yoda calls Luke "Skywalker."  That is not consistent with the previous movies.  Yoda always called Luke "Luke."  Why would he suddenly start calling him something else?  It would be like calling your friend by his first name for 30 years then suddenly decide to start calling him by his last name.

116.  What kind of animals break through windows and structures without knowing what's on the other side?  Evidently the animals that Finn and Rose ride.  What if there was a pool of lava waiting for them on the other side?

117.  The First Order destroyed several Republic planets in the Force Awakens, including the capital.  That supposedly decimated the Republic.  But assuming the galaxy has hundreds, maybe thousands of planets/systems (think of the Senate chamber in the prequel trilogy), wouldn't the destruction of just a few of them cause the rest of them to unite?  Instead there is only a small band or resistance left.  What about all the other hundreds/thousands of planets?  Are we supposed to believe they are all under First Order control now?  Not believable, and not explained.

118.  If Luke wanted to die, why wouldn't he do it while also doing something useful?  Like crashing his x-wing into a First Order ship?  No, he'd prefer to just rot away on a deserted island instead.

119.  Han Solo said Luke presumably went off looking for the first Jedi Temple.  If that was the case, he found it.  Now what?  It would make more sense that he was looking for it for A. Guidance   B. More power  C. Information to rebuild the Jedi Order.  Nope!  He was just looking for it so he could die there.

120. If Luke wanted to go to the most "unfindable" place in the galaxy, why did he choose a place of such great importance (the first Jedi temple).  Sounds like a place that someone, perhaps through the use of the Force or Sith holocron, could find eventually.  Plus there was an actual map to his location.

121.  Luke says he will give Rey three lessons.  He only gave two.  What makes it worse is that supposedly there is a 3rd lesson in the Blu Ray deleted scenes.  So...it was more important to include alien boobs and casino nonsense than show a lesson from a Jedi Master to a student who suddenly has amazing powers.

122. Ghosts need canes to help them walk?  Yoda even acts like he's labored in doing so.  Not plausible.

123. Why did Yoda act like a goofball similar to when he first met Luke on Dagobah?  On Dagobah, there was a reason: testing Luke's patience.  After that, he was his "normal" stoic, wise self.  There was no reason for Yoda to act like he did in TLJ.

124.  Just a day or two before TLJ, Maz's business was completely destroyed.  Now, suddenly she is already involved in a "union dispute."

125. When Luke first used the guns on the Milennium Falcon, it was a difficult task.  He managed to destroy two TIE fighters.  Rey takes down about a dozen of them above the salt planet with relative ease.  At least Luke had SOME previous experience shooting things on Tatooine.  Rey: none.  Instant expert gunner.

126.  There was no point to Luke going to the planet with the first Jedi temple if he was just going off to die and didn't want to be found.  If I didn't know where Luke was, using a map to find the planet with the first Jedi temple would be a logical choice.  Luke should have chosen a remote planet in the far, far Outer Rim.  Just further evidence that Rian Johnson did not follow what was set up for him.

127.  Now that Yoda destroyed the big tree and "supposedly" the texts, what purpose do the Caretakers serve now?  Yoda just sent them to unemployment.

128.  Rey attacks Luke with a lightsaber.  What would she have done if she connected and sliced him in half?  Their fight makes no sense.

129. Would anyone with half a brain really mistake a droid for a slot machine?

130. There were several First Order ships in pursuit of the resistance.  Our heroes somehow know exactly which ship is tracking them.

131.  Rose seems to know a lot about the tracking system of the First Order which we were told is "new tech."

132. Someone in real danger (fighting for their life in a gun battle), especially a supposedly very wise being, would not want to lose focus and risk distraction by answering a phone call.  Maz does.

133. Stormtroopers land on Crait, a salt planet...with snow gear on.  Trying too hard to look like Empire Strikes Back I guess.

134. Some dude has to actually tell the audience that it's salt...after already being there for a while.  Seems like something that someone would figure out shortly after landing there because heck, the entire planet seems to be covered with it.  

135. Rose would have never been able to catch up to Finn in their vehicles on Crait.  Finn accelerated to near top speed and Rose had turned back in the other direction before that.

136. Leia leaves the dice behind.  If it was something of such sentimental value, she would have taken it with her.  Or are we supposed to infer that she knew it was a force-projected object?

137. Rey seems to transport from Ach-to (supposedly very, very far away) to Crait instantly.

138. No one said "I've got a bad feeling about this."  Yeah, BB-8 said it.  Whatever.  Rian Johnson just HAD to be different.  

139. Apparently no trained soldiers or officers can detect a droid hiding in an over-turned trash can.

140. A few Resistance peeps attempt mutiny and point guns at Admiral Holdo.  But no one else reacts.  Background characters go about their business, oblivious to what is occurring in the exact same room, mere feet away.

141. Resistance ships have cloaking devices.  The First Order can run de-cloaking scans. What's the point then?

142. Snoke was after Luke but then realizes it is Rey that is "the light to meet the rising darkness."   He seemingly recognizes that Rey is more of a threat.  But then still wants Luke and tortures Rey as part of an attempt to find him.

143.  Too many new Force powers introduced in too short of a time.  It wasn't until the third movie (ROTJ) that we saw Force Lightning.  This movie gives us Force projections, Force Face Time, deep space survival, Poppinesque flight, transporting matter, weather interaction, etc.

144. A Resistance ship is out of fuel.  It somehow also loses power.  It can't even steer.  So why does a captain have to stay on it and die?  There is absolutely no reason for anyone to remain on board.

145. The lightsaber enters Snoke's body from the side.  It comes out the front.  Shouldn't part of his body still be attached in the back?

146. Speaking of that lightsaber, doesn't it create a whole other plot problem with other Star Wars movies (similar to the "Holdo Maneuver")?   If Force users are able to activate other people's lightsabers without touching them, wouldn't it be a common strategy for them to turn on the lightsabers of their enemies from afar?  Think about it.  If lightsabers swing from a Jedi's utility belt, wouldn't it slice off their foot if it was turned on suddenly?  Or better yet, in a lightsaber duel, wouldn't a Jedi or Sith use the Force to turn OFF his/her opponent's saber?  Think about THAT.  If I am a Jedi Master, I will swing my saber at my opponent.  As he goes to block, I turn off his saber.  He's dead.  The Holdo Maneuver and turning on a lightsaber from afar make sense...I just don't think they should have been included in the 8th movie of a saga without it ever being used before.

147. The Resistance waits behind the giant door on Crait, knowing full well that the First Order is going to try and breach it by blasting it open...instead of spreading out throughout the cave in an attempt to survive as long as possible until help arrives.

148.  Somehow, Rey manages to escape the "throne room," navigate a ship with which she is completely unfamiliar, evade a legion of enemy troops...weaponless..., and somehow find an escape craft belonging to Snoke.  She then supposedly pilots this craft and finds Chewbacca without anyone from the First Order noticing them.  And this is all done off-screen.

149.  The Resistance ships are said to be "lighter" than the First Order's.  Last I checked, saying something was "lighter" refers to weight.  Weight is a measure of the pull of gravity on an object.  The ships were in space where there is no gravity.

150. The First Order claims it can't catch the Resistance ships.  But Kylo Ren and his wingmates have no trouble catching up.

151. Instead of deploying dozens...or hundreds...of fighters to attack the Resistance, they deploy...4.  For such a significant mission, a military powerhouse would certainly send out more ships to ensure success...especially when someone as powerful and important as Kylo Ren is piloting one of the fighters.

152. On Crait, the Resistance decides to keep only a handful of people behind the huge, sturdy, blast-proof doors.  Then sends everyone else basically to their death, stationed in trenches outside the door with hardly more than hand guns to battle TIE fighters and AT-AT's. There is absolutely no reason for them to be outside the base. What exactly did they intend to accomplish in those trenches?  

153. Speaking of which, Why would the First Order even need to get inside?  To kill the five people behind the door?  They could virtually wipe out the entire Resistance by concentrating their fire power on the trenches and clunky vehicles in their path.  Take them out, surround the mines (since there is no other way out), and wait for them to either starve to death or surrender.

154. Speaking of that cave, what military genius would EVER construct a base with only one way in or out?  And that one way is a GIGANTIC door.

155. Wait a minute...if there was only one way in or out, how do the troops get outside to defend the gigantic door?

156.  What happened to all the Resistance soldiers in the trenches?  Did they die?  Well, then where are their bodies?  Did they learn the secrets of invisibility? Because they are not inside the cave either.

157. The slow bombers uses archaic bombs.  Check out the bombs used over 50 years ago on display in Episode II (those cool sounding, highly destructive bombs deployed by Jango Fett as he tried to destroy Obi-Wan).

158. The slow bombers don't explode.  They just kind of flame up and burn.  With that kind of payload on board.

159. Some will argue that the bombs are magnetic and do not rely on gravity.  Well if they are magnetic, what prevents them from staying magnetically attracted to the ship they are supposed to exit?  Or from each other and exploding above their target?  Selective magnetism?

160. With such a massive payload, couldn't a droid pilot them and crash into their targets instead of having to fly slowly above them?  Surely those ships have a hyperdrive on them.  They could have each pulled a Holdo maneuver!

161. Luke would never refer to a lightsaber as a "laser sword."  The only person to ever refer to a lightsaber as a laser sword was a little kid with no Jedi training.

162. Rey sucker punches Luke from behind with a stick.  Wouldn't it be more appropriate for her character to simply approach Luke and ask him her question? Or continue pestering him? Especially if she didn't know the answer to the question yet.  Resorting to physical violence doesn't fit her.

163. Praetorian guard armor is inconsistent.  The body armor seems to partially repel lightsaber slashes.  But the head armor, which arguably should be most protective, allows a lightsaber blade to pass completely through it.

164. Another flaw in the choreography of the battle with the Praetorian guards: one guard actually tosses his staff to the side before he is killed by Kylo Ren. Look it up on youtube.  Another, because (assuming) his timing was off, swipes wildly in the air, obviously intentionally avoiding contact with Rey.

165. We are led to believe that Snoke can basically Force-project two other people across the galaxy without any difficulty, but if Luke projects himself it's too strenuous and he dies.

166.  Why choose dice, for which the audience has no emotional attachment (heck I didn't even realize they existed until this movie), as the sentimental object to remember Han?

167. Leia is able to hold the dice and Luke is able to kiss Leia's head (assuming she felt the kiss by her reaction).  So do Force projections have weight/mass?  Is it a user-selective process (since Kylo's saber passes through the Force-projected body of Luke like it's a hologram)?

168. It's the first time we see Luke on screen with Leia and the droids since the original trilogy.  We get Luke complimenting Leia's hair and a wink at C-3PO.

169. Lack of attention to detail.  There are plenty of examples above, but here's another: the First Order bombards the area where Luke (I mean, the stupid Force projection of Luke) is standing with hundreds of powerful laser blasts.  The amount of dirt displaced from those countless blasts would be enormous.  There would no doubt be a crater or hole left from the assault.  However, there is nothing but charred dirt after the smoke settles.

170.  The "big-ass" impenetrable metal door on the Crait cave base somehow burns.

171. The First Order, with the devastating Dreadnaught, somehow thinks it's a tactical advantage to fire on the rebel base rather than first firing on the "sitting duck" transport ships orbiting the planet.

172.  Look where the Falcon lands on Crait.  How does Rey get down those completely vertical cliffs?  How do the escaping rebels get up it?

173. How does Finn know that they are "only tracking them from the lead ship?"  As a sanitation worker, he sure seems to know a lot suddenly.  He somehow has knowledge about a specific ship mechanism (which was identified as new tech) and military strategy.

174. The Resistance did not know the Dreadnaught would be arriving.  Yet they deployed all those slow bombers almost instantly.  If there wasn't a target, why would the bombers be loaded and deployed?  What was their initial target before the Dreadnaught arrived?  Were they going to split up and go after the Star Destroyers?  With their lack of speed and agility, that would be pointless.

175. Luke is about to burn down a big tree.  Then Yoda shows up and burns down the big tree.  But now Luke seems upset that the big tree is burning.

176. Too many incidences of characters re-explaining the plot to the audience.  For example, Rose says out loud to Finn something like "Maz said the codebreaker would be here wearing a red flower.  Let's find him so we can get out of here."  Um, yeah Rose.  We already knew why you and Finn went to the dumb casino place.

177. The Empire Strikes Back director Ivan Kirshner said it best: "I felt I needed humor in the picture and yet I could not have gags."  There's a difference between humor and gags and Mr. Kirshner knew it.  Rian Johnson did not.  He had too many "gags" in his movie.  Humor is important in Star Wars.  Gags are not.

178. The fact that BB-8 has so many appendages coming out of him is absurd.  In the prequel trilogy, I thought it was borderline unbelievable that R2-D2 suddenly had these new features we hadn't seen before (like the ability to fly).  So I thought that this much smaller droid housing so many mechanics was ridiculous.  All so he could plug up sparks on an x-wing and pilot an AT-ST I guess.

179. Kylo Ren lost in a lightsaber duel to someone who had never held a lightsaber before.  Yet he decides to go to the surface alone to face arguably the most powerful Jedi that ever lived in one-on-one combat.  And this is AFTER he pummeled Luke with enough fire power to destroy several square blocks and witnessed that it had zero effect on him.

180. C-3PO no longer has a red arm.  Again, this movie was supposed to take place a day or two after the Force Awakens.  That doesn't seem like a lot of time to get a new arm.  Nor does it seem very important considering their precarious situation .  C-3PO no doubt was valuable to the Resistance.  But they better get a different color arm on him...because!  No reason to change his arm at all.  The red arm established a unique characteristic for the new trilogy.  He had no coverings in Episode 1 and built up to the gold we know and love by Episode IV.  Then he had a red arm in Episode VII.  It was relevant.  It showed time had passed and things changed.  But Rian Johnson decided it was more important to give him a gold arm again.

181. Finn calling Phasma "Chrome Dome" was stupid.  It elicited the same reaction I had when I heard C-3PO say "this is such a drag" in AOTC.  That jargon just doesn't seem to fit in the Star Wars universe.

182. Poe seems to know Maz well.  How is that possible?

183. A huge explosion.  Fire and smoke surround them.  Dead bodies galore.  It is obvious that they are on a "sinking ship."  Yet Phasma and her legion seem to have no desire to immediately attempt to save their own lives.  There is no urgency to the horrible situation unfolding around them.  Instead they slowly march in formation so that Phasma can have a fight with Finn.

184. How does Kylo know so much about Rey's parents?

185. If de-cloaking scans are so helpful, shouldn't they be run constantly, just in case enemy ships try to escape?  Why wait to run the scans?  Assume all ships have cloaking devices and keep the device running.

186. If Leia is so powerful with the Force (remember...she can survive in an atmosphere void of any oxygen and that is hundreds of degrees below zero plus fly through space), why does she just sit there while her friends are destroyed by the First Order ships on the way to Crait?  Can't she do something?  Anything?  Stop the laser bolts ala Kylo Ren?  Push the ships off course?  Create some kind of Force shield?  Nope.  Her powers are useless unless she finds herself floating in space.

187. Why would the First Order bother keeping DJ alive?  Why pay him all that money and give him a free spaceship?  Just shoot him!

188.  Speaking of that, when and how did the First Order make that arrangement with DJ?  What exactly did DJ do for them that warrants a boatload of cash and free ship?

189. Luke refers to the Jedi as a religion.  He would have never called it a religion.  Horrible dialogue.

190.  In yet another comedic (gag) moment gone wrong, BB-8 blows the smoke away from his money shooting device.  It's a droid.  Who does not breathe air.  Where does the air come from that blows out the smoke?

191. We are lead to believe that the First Order is massive but the Resistance is tiny...despite 30 years of existence in a predominately Republic-controlled galaxy.

192.  The slave children on Canto Dumb somehow know about Luke Skywalker's heroic "battle" with the First Order.  Are these kids allowed to watch the news or something?

193. Luke decides to train Rey...not after learning he was not there to help save his best friend's life, not after hearing that millions lost their lives after the Starkiller Base attack, not after a plea from Rey, not after his friend Chewbacca came to visit...after seeing an old recording of his sister asking for Obi-Wan's help.  Side note: R2-D2 playing that message was one of the only good parts of the movie.  I really did like it.  But the fact that it was what swayed Luke instead of all the other terrible things that happened (and that he could have helped prevent) is ridiculous.

194. Luke Force-projects to buy the Resistance time to escape.  How did he know that's what was needed?  If he knew the Resistance was in trouble, trapped in a base, he should have also known Rey was about to arrive in the Millenium Falcon and would be a distraction herself.  Luke could have Force-projected inside the base, said "follow me," led them to the back exit, and used the Force to move the rocks himself.  Not possible? Ok, then have Leia do it since she is so powerful.  My point is that there was no need for Luke to Force-project into a duel with Kylo.  No need for him to do what he did.  No need for him to die.

195. Leia shoots and stuns Poe right after waking up.  She had been unconscious.  She has no idea what is going on.  As a military general, she would not instantly side with Holdo and shoot one of her officers without knowing all the facts.  The Leia I remember would be much more diplomatic.

196. Kylo Force-fights Rey over a lightsaber. The dude can stop laser blasts in mid-air, but he can't over-power someone who has only been using the Force for a couple of days.  He also has his own lightsaber.  Activate it and send it flying toward Rey or the other saber.  Or just let Rey have it and then battle her with his own.  That would have given the movie a real lightsaber duel.

197. Leia is involved in a massive explosion.  But has no cuts, scrapes, or bruises at all.

198. In the opening space battle, the Star Destroyers do not assist in taking out enemy fighters.  They just sit there, basically doing nothing.

199. Leia is shown to be upset with Poe for the decisions he made leading to the destruction of the Dreadnaught.  Why?  The Resistance lost a few dozen spacecraft and a few dozen lives while the First Order lost a ship worth an astronomical amount of money, containing thousands of soldiers, and capable of destruction unmatched by any Resistance vessel.  Leia should be applauding Poe and acknowledging that the mission was NOT a complete failure.  Instead she slaps him.

200. Holdo wears a dress.  All other military officers wear military clothing.

201. If Finn and Rose can leave the fleet undetected, why can't they all do that?  Can't they just use more ships like the one Finn and Rose used?  If it's not the ship, can't they use whatever device they used to remain undetected?

202. DJ somehow knows about the cloaking devices despite never being told by Rose or Finn nor being in contact with the Resistance.

203. Rose's "iconic" line is stupid and makes no sense.  It went something like "we're not going to win this war by destroying what we hate.  We're going to win by saving what we love."  THAT'S WHAT FINN WAS DOING!  He was sacrificing himself to save the people he loved.

204. If Luke's plan was to stall the First Order and give the Resistance time to escape, why didn't he tell them that?  They would have gotten a head start.  Instead they are left to watch Luke face off against Kylo and then figure out what Luke's plan is themselves.  Not something a wise Jedi Master would do.

205. After all that happened between C-3PO and Luke, all we get is a wink from Luke.  It is the first time we have seen them on screen together in 40 years.  To make matters worse, Mark Hamill has stated that the original script called for him to ignore C-3PO and just walk right past him.  Thankfully, Mark came up with this.  So at least there was SOME acknowledgement.

206. In TFA, Kylo is obsessed with Vader.  Obsessed with the past.  Now he suddenly wants to "let the past die."  Keeping in mind only a couple of days have passed.

207. Luke's plan was to distract Kylo so the Resistance could escape?  That doesn't make much sense.  Did Luke somehow know about the back exit?  And if he did, why didn't he inform the others about it to assist in their escape?  If he knew about it, did he just figure Leia would move the rocks with the Force (which she obviously could not do).  Assuming he did NOT know about the exit, what the heck was his plan then?  Distract Kylo, reveal himself as a stupid Force projection, then allow the First Order to march inside the base to kill everyone trapped in there?

208. BB-8 just happens to have a device perfectly designed to house and rapid fire coins...at a high velocity and with deadly accuracy.

209. Page is laying on her back as the detonator falls past her.  Somehow she is able to flip over completely and is suddenly on her stomach when she catches it.

210. Let's say Poe listened to Leia and retreated.  With the slow bombers.  How would that have worked out?  TIE fighters would have swooped in from behind and annihilated them.  So that makes Leia look unintelligent and her argument with Poe stupid.

211.  Much like a similar issue I had with The Phantom Menace, The Last Jedi has "too much stuff going on." There were basically four plots going on at the same time.  Rey's adventures with Luke Kylo, and Snoke, Finn and Rose's adventure, Luke's relationship/duel with Kylo, and the Resistance escaping.

212. Even if the Resistance succeeded in escaping to Crait, wouldn't the First Order find out about it anyway?  They can run life-sign scans (which they do in the movie).  They would discover there was no one on board...which meant they escaped using smaller craft.   Where would those smaller craft go?  Oh, gee, I don't know, how about that planet that's visible right there?

213.  Finn and Rose escape undetected on a tiny ship that has hyperspace capabilities.  The rest of resistance try to escape on larger ships designed for emergency evacuations...but they don't have hyperspace capabilities for some reason.

214. Finn and Rose have no plan to get back to the Resistance ship once they do their stupid code thing.  But then Finn says that he knows where the escape pods are.  The First Order would shoot down any craft trying to leave its ship figuring it would be housing deserters.  This point is proven in The Force Awakens because Finn needs a pilot to fly him away from the First Order...otherwise he would have just taken an escape pod.

215. The tone of the movie at its end is completely wrong.  The surviving handful of Resistance fighters are talking, hugging, laughing...like THOUSANDS of their friends weren't just killed.  Like they didn't just get their butts kicked.  Like they didn't just lose hundreds of space craft.  Like they don't have to start from scratch and rebuild everything.  They should be shell-shocked at the moment, realizing how lucky they are to be alive.  The tone should have resembled that of ESB's ending.

216. In The Force Awakens, Rey's vision shows Kylo and the Knights of Ren, all in full gear including Kylo's mask, presumably at the destruction of the Jedi temple that Luke started.  Yet in The Last Jedi, this is ignored.  Kylo destroys the temple still as Ben Solo on the night that Luke considers murdering him in his sleep (that still sounds ridiculous).

217. Luke, as an all-powerful Jedi master, surely knew that Force projecting would kill him. So if he was going to die anyway, why not just go to the salt planet in person and sacrifice himself that way?  Or Force project closer to Kylo's walker.  Maybe all that time inside talking to Leia could have been saved.  Maybe that was the extra effort that ended up killing him.  

218. If Luke could Force-project himself to make Kylo believe he was physically on the planet, why not show himself running behind some rocks in the opposite direction of the base.  Then immediately stop Force-projecting.  This would serve the exact same purpose of distracting the First Order and commanding all of Kylo's attention while buying time for the Resistance to escape.  The difference is that it wouldn't kill Luke because he would only have to use a small part of his energy to Force-project for a fraction of the time.

219. Where does Finn get the sled he uses to drag Rose's body back to the cave?  And he somehow has time to strap her into this magically appearing sled in the middle of a wide open battle field avoiding laser fire from the First Order.

220. Ben Solo...a student...is somehow so powerful with the Force that he can best perhaps the most powerful Jedi master in history, Luke Skywalker, and destroy his Jedi school.  Conversely, Luke Skywalker is somehow unable to prevent his student from overtaking him and burning down his Jedi school.

221. Surely the (arguably) the greatest Jedi Master of all time would not resort to igniting a weapon if he was going to covertly kill someone in their sleep.  Luke could have (and should have if he was the wise Jedi we believed he was) just snapped Ben's neck like a twig afar.  Or squeezed his heart or brain.  I know that sounds gory, but killing him with a lightsaber would have raised so many questions.  A lightsaber wound is not something that he would have been able to conceal from the other students or even Leia.  If it looked like he died in his sleep, I doubt Luke would have been accused of anything.

222. Most of the visual effects in TLJ are amazing.  However, Finn and Rose riding on the weird horse animals did not look believable at all.

223. We are introduced to a cool new character: Tallie.  And then she is killed almost immediately.

224. Luke has cut himself off from the Force, but decides to dress in his full Jedi outfit (when Rey arrives).  Yeah that makes sense.  When I'm isolated on a deserted island, it's important to wear my ceremonial robes.

225. Luke changes back to his full Jedi robes when he decides to burn the sacred texts.  Was this some sort of ceremonial decision?  Why bother changing into the outfit of something of which you are trying to rid yourself?

226.  Kylo and Rey team up to defeat the Praetorian guards.  Cool!  We think that this is a new twist and that the two of them are going to be together (for good or evil).  But then the moment is ruined minutes later when they fight each other and go their separate ways.

227. Kylo shows that he is conflicted and is unable to fire on and kill his mother.  But then he suddenly seems to have no problem with it as he attempts to wipe out her and the others on the salt planet.

228. Yoda shows up to teach Luke a valuable lesson.  The problem is it's a lesson he's already learned.  Yoda says "The greatest teacher failure is."  On his journey to becoming a Jedi master, Luke has failed MANY times (saving his aunt and uncle, getting mauled by a Wampa, experiencing the dark cave, losing a hand in a duel with Vader).  So having Yoda appear to explain this to Luke is insulting.

229. In the opening crawl, the Resistance base is referred to as the Rebel.  The sequel movies so far have fought hard to distinguish their Resistance from the OT's rebellion.  Throwing it in the opening crawl is confusing and shows a lack of attention to detail.

230. Another flaw in the opening crawl: It mentions that the First Order reigns.  Yet in the very next sentence, it explains that they are "attempting to seize military control" or something like that.  If they "reigned," they would already have military control.

231. The opening of the movie ruins the end of TFA by completely changing what JJ Abrams set up.  You will notice the tone at the end of TFA...Luke is dressed in ceremonial robes.  He removes his hood in a most noble, majestic way.  It was obvious that JJ believed he was setting up a good reason for Luke to be on that island.  Something that would require him to dress in his robes.  NOPE.  He just came there to die.  The tone at the beginning of TLJ is completely different.  The majesty, nobility, and stoic nature of Luke shown at the end of TFA is crudely replaced by a grumpy hermit who quickly changes into a hobo outfit.

232. Why have we never seen these amazing new Force powers before?  In TFA, I admit I was a little in awe that someone was able to use the Force to stop a laser blast in mid air.  Especially done by someone like Kylo Ren whose training wasn't even complete yet.  I let that slide.  But in TLJ we see Force Projections and communicating through the Force with Galaxy Facetime.   I found this to be implausible based on the fact that we have never seen more experienced Force Users use this ability.  I might have let it slide because we do not know Snoke's backstory and training history and supposedly he was the one who established that link...but then Rey and Kylo Force communicate at the very end of the TLJ proving that Kylo and Rey are capable of performing this feat on their own, without Snoke.

233. No Snap Wexley. Porkins 2.0.

234. Poe was right about destroying the Dreadnaught.  Had it not been destroyed, the First Order would have followed the Resistance and blew them away (since the Dreadnaught is a "fleet killer" or whatever Poe called it).  But nobody mentions this.  When Holdo is acting high and mighty, Poe should have said "you'd be dead right now if it wasn't for me."  Instead, the fact that he was correct is ignored.

235.  The new characters introduced are not memorable or even very likable.  Who is going out and buying a DJ, Rose, and Holdo action figure?

236. Finn refers the Canto Bite law enforcement as "the cops."  More language you are not supposed to hear in the Star Wars universe.

237. Rose promotes "saving what we love and not destroying what we hate."  Yet she was pretty quick to want to hurt the casino owners by destroying their property and stealing/freeing their animals. Seemed pretty happy about it too.

238. Rose also gets mad at Finn for getting distracted from their mission on Canto Bight but then she herself causes the huge detour to save the horse creature things.

239. Rey calls Kylo a monster...yet seems fixated on saving and converting him back to the light (for some reason).

240. Finn claims hyperspace tracking is not possible.  Later he explains to Rose how it works and announces he cleaned the tracker's room as a janitor on that ship.

241. Rey and Kylo engage in a "Force Pull duel." You know what would have been more exciting instead?  A lightsaber duel.

242. Poe and the others are able open a door to let Leia Poppins back onto the ship...without immediately being sucked out into space.

243. Ben's pull to the dark side is not explained.  All he knows is that he wakes up and senses something bad with his uncle.  And that leads him to destroy an entire temple and presumably murder every last student because of it?  Luke SENSED darkness in him.  He hadn't fallen to the dark side yet.  Or did he?  It is never explained.

244. Wouldn't Kylo sense Luke was not dead?  If he tried to kill him by crumbling the temple on him and then realized he was still alive, shouldn't he try to finish the job while Luke was incapacitated?  And if Kylo killed all the other students in self-defense because they attacked him, that wouldn't make sense either.  Surely at least one of them would have sensed Luke was still alive and would have saved him from under the rubble.  As Rey has shown us, it is very easy to lifted heavy objects. The debris could have been cleared.

245. Did Luke flat out lie to Rey about what happened with Kylo the night where he thought about killing him in his sleep?  I haven't gone back to watch the movie to verify, but it seems like he did.  If so, that is completely out of character.  Luke Skywalker is not a liar.  What purpose would it serve to lie to Rey about that?  He is on that island to die supposedly.  So what does it matter if Rey knows the truth or not? TLJ makes Luke a liar, a coward, a quitter, a grump, a hermit, and a family deserter.

246. No Mon Mothma.  It's not a necessity that she be in the movie.  But some form of acknowledgement of such a famous, heroic leader would have been cool.

247. Luke is human and I am ok with him making mistakes.  But it is unfathomable that he would make such a massive mistake from which he already learned in the OT.  He learned that family was important above everything else (which allowed him to want to redeem Vader instead of killing him).  He learned not to give into his negative emotions when he chose not to finish off Vader in the Death Star.  TLJ throws that whole arc out the window as Luke thinks about killing a family member and gives into negative emotions.

248. TLJ basically throws out the whole plot/point of TFA.  In TFA, the plot revolves around finding Luke Skywalker.  Finding Luke is IMPORTANT.  But then TLJ says "no it's not."  Luke is not important.  Finding Luke had no bearing on anything that happened in TLJ.

249. What are Kylo Ren's motives?  In TFA, we wondered what turned Ben to the dark side.  In TLJ, we are not given any real reason.  His uncle thought about killing him?  That was it?  Why (presumably) murder all the remaining Jedi in Luke's school and become full-on evil?  Where did Snoke come into this?  Was he considering the dark side prior to Luke's "bad thoughts?"  This is not explained and leaves too many open-ended questions.

250. We are led to believe that none of the other Jedi students can stand up to Kylo Ren. He is able to hunt them down and murder them all single-handedly all while Luke was unconscious and all because one guy thought about murdering him. Talk about going off the deep end.

251. Luke's final heroic act: a minor, temporary distraction that left the biggest threat to the galaxy still at large.

252. Poe introduces himself to Rey like they've never met before.  Check the Force Awakens.  They literally stand two feet away from each other  (with only Leia in between).  The best pilot in the galaxy never spoke a word to Rey and were never introduced prior to her being chosen to head off to find Luke? So in his final shot in The Force Awakens, when everyone is waving to the Rey and Chewie, you mean to tell me Poe has no clue who they are waving to?

253. If we are supposed to believe that Holdo is such an important, high-ranking military leader, then where exactly was she in the planning of the assault on Starkiller Base?  If the resistance is made up of only a few hundred people, she should have been there.  Or are we supposed to infer that she colored her hair purple in the short amount of time between movies so she did not stand out in The Force Awakens?  This is a clear indication that a character was created that should not have been created.

254. During the scene in which Leia is blown out into space, watch the number of helmeted soldiers with weapons running around the background.  What is their purpose in a space battle?  Rian Johnson clearly didn't know how to direct extras.

255. Rose teaches Finn all about child slaves...when he was one.

256. How did Rose and Finn know they had to go to Crait, exactly how to get there, and at the precise coordinates of the base?  At the time (when they left the Resistance ship) they had no knowledge of that plan.

257. Kylo is shown without his shirt on yet there is absolutely no evidence that he was shot and bleeding from his side from when Chewie shot him 24 hours earlier.

258.  "Rey's" lightsaber is inaccurate.  The button that activates it is in a different location than the original trilogy.  I think this was also the case in The Force Awakens. *This was sent to me by a fellow TLJ hater.  

259.  Why doesn't Kylo and to a lesser extent Rey ever use Force Powers against the non-Force-user Praetorian guards?  Kylo can stop a laser blast in mid-air and freeze people, keeping them from moving, but doesn't feel the need to use it in a battle in which they are outnumbered 8 to 1 (or whatever it was).  It was supposed to be this epic duel...yet this (along with other issues mentioned above) contributed to its failure.  Even Obi-Wan and Anakin used Force powers against each other in their duel in ROTS.  Dooku uses Force Lightning, Yoda repels it.  Vader used the Force to hurl objects at Luke in ESB.  But Kylo Ren who is shown to have more abilities than those characters simply relies on his lightsaber because that what was needed to have a duel.  Not even a lightsaber on lightsaber duel.  These guards even had inferior weapons.

260. Yoda once taught Luke: "always in motion the future is."  Meaning things can change.  The future is not always what you expect or foresee.  Luke ignores/forgets this and wants to murder his nephew just because he senses darkness in him.

261. How could Kylo have escaped the resistance cruiser after destroying it with torpedoes?  *This was pointed out to me by a fellow TLJ hater. 

262. The First Order successfully destroys the main bridge of a huge Resistance ship.  Then they stop.  Or at least hold back.  Why didn't they continue their onslaught and inflict further damage? 

263. The First Order only a sent a skeleton crew to the salt planet.  I know that a lot of their ships were wiped out in the "awesome" Holdo Maneuver, but apparently they still had enough to send down massive walkers.  But only a handful of TIE fighters?  They had the chance to completely wipe out the Resistance for good, yet the "reigning" First Order only deploys a few vessels. 

264: The troopers used on the salt planet were basically snow troopers.  Rian Johnson thought it was worthwhile to come up with an executioner trooper but not worthwhile to come up with a different trooper for an environment like the salt planet.  And if it was only salt and dirt, why not use the regular troopers?  Regular troopers were used on Tatooine, Jakku, Endor, Cloud City, etc. but for a salt planet, they have to change into snow gear?  *this idea was sent to me from a fellow TLJ hater

265. Poe needed to dock with the Raddus before they escaped rather than hyperspace himself.  This is not a conservation of fuel issue as proven by Finn and Rose's side mission.  He could have easily hyperspaced to their destination and docked there. 

266.  If Yoda was only able to control the weather on Ach-to (as some have proposed as a counter argument for Force Ghosts having this ability), why not let the First Order find the planet.  When the First Order arrives, Yoda (and perhaps other Force ghosts) could then destroy them.

267.  Luke suddenly wears his lightsaber on his right side. Very little attention to detail shown. 

268. Maz Kanata DESCRIBES the code breaker instead of giving a name.  Even a code name.  If she really wanted to give the Resistance their best chance to locate this person, she would have provided more than just vague characteristics.

269. An explosion weakens the deck enough to send Phasma to her death.  But the deck is still strong enough to support a massive walker to carry Rose, Finn, and BB-8 to their escape vessel. *provided by a fellow TLJ hater.

270. Sprinkler systems don't seem to exist in this era of superior technology.  Everything is just left to burn on the First Order ship.  *provided by a fellow TLJ hater.

271. The Holdo Maneuver causes a huge amount of damage.  There are presumably gaps in the hull of the First Order ship.  Yet nothing is sucked out into space.  Just fire everywhere.  If there were shields preventing the loss of air, it would have been cool to see them activate.  Phasma, Finn, etc. are beginning to be sucked out into space.  Then the shields are activated.  Then they can have their duel.

272. Finn suffered a horrible, life-threatening injury at the end of the TFA.  His recovery is shown to be minimal and comical.  Think about Luke's recovery from the Wampa attack / Hoth's unforgiving environment.  It was never downplayed or comical.  We are shown him waking in the bacta tank and his friends surrounding him later, overjoyed that he is ok.  

273. No one seems particularly sad that Luke is dead.  Leia does not seem all that sad.  We are never shown Chewbacca's reaction.  In TFA, we FELT Han Solo's death.  Chewbacca roars, hurt.  You can see the pain in Rey's reactions.  The facial expressions of Han and Kylo make the scene very emotional.  But in TLJ, Luke just disappears.  Gone.  Leia says that they have everything they need and the movie ends with a jovial conversation aboard the Millenium Falcon.

274. Maz Kanata makes a sexual reference.  This is out of place in a Star Wars movie.  There are no sexual references in any of the other 7 previous movies.  

275. In TFA, it was strongly hinted that Finn was Force-sensitive.  TLJ completely ignored this.  

276. Chewbacca is treated as nothing more than a glorified chauffeur.  He is not part of any of the battles, space or ground.  He flies with Rey and even when that happens, Rey is shown doing all the fancy gun work.  

277.  There is absolutely no payoff for Kylo's line in TFA: "what girl?"   Kylo seemed to know SOMETHING.  Nope, not according to Rian Johnson. 

278. The voice used for the alien at the casino was a horrible choice.  Reminded me of Cletus from the Simpsons.  

279. So the Resistance has secret rings?  How do the children slaves know about this symbol and what it represents?  We are lead to believe that these kids are slaves who are treated harshly and have very limited contact with the outside world, if any.  Yet the kids somehow all know what Rose's ring symbol means.  

280. It makes no sense that the First Order did not destroy ALL the slow, rusty, non-weaponized, un-shielded vehicles in a matter of seconds.  In a screenshot, I counted at least 10 walkers. Plus TIE fighter support.  Because I have not gone back and watched, I can't know for sure but I bet there were about the same number of slow, rusty Resistance vehicles.  They were completely over-matched and outnumbered.  These were not small, swift, shielded, maneuverable snow-speeders taking on AT-AT's.  These were crappy vehicles that any competent military force would have taken out very easily and very quickly.  

281. This is the first Star Wars film to take place almost immediately after the last one.  In my opinion, this created pacing issues.  It would have been far better if it took place at least a month or so later.  Rey would have received training in that time, the capability of the First Order to regroup after losing Starkiller Base would make more sense, C-3PO's red arm replacement would be more believable, etc.

282. The new major characters are not likable or marketable. When TFA came out (heck, even before TFA came out) people were buying merchandise for Kylo Ren, BB-8, etc.  I am one of those people.  I have a huge Kylo Ren figure, a Kylo Ren Force FX lightsaber, a BB-8 cookie jar, several TFA mugs with the characters, and many other items including t-shirts.  My daughter was Rey for Halloween.  My son was Kylo Ren in October of 2015...before he even saw the movie.  What new major characters did we get in this movie?  DJ, Rose, and Haldo.  These characters are not fun, cool, marketable characters for which I want to buy merchandise.  I am not saying that I have to buy merchandise as proof that a character was likable.  But in this case I think it proves a point.  

283. No new lightsaber stuff.  Every single Star Wars movie since ANH features "something new" with lightsabers.  
-ESB: Luke duels with a saber for the first time.  A non-Jedi handles a saber (Han).
-ROTJ: Green lightsaber introduced
-TPM: Double bladed lightsaber introduced.  Multiple Jedi sabers in a duel at the same time.  Green and blue sabers ignited onscreen at the same time for the first time.  
-AOTC: Curved lightsaber hilt introduced.  Purple lightsaber introduced.  Yoda's lightsaber introduced. Anakin uses two sabers at once.
-ROTS: Blue on blue duel.  Palpatine uses a saber for first time.  A character uses 4 sabers at once (Grievous).  A character uses a red and blue saber at once Anakin).
-TFA: Lightsaber with cross guards introduced.  The lightsaber has a unique "burning" blade.
-TLJ: NOTHING NEW

284. I was under the impression that hyperspace was not just going really fast.  It involved another dimension and/or wormholes.  But in TLJ, it is clear that hyperspace just means going really fast.  *Submitted by a fellow TLJ hater.

285. Let's assume that Holdo is smart.  Let's assume that there are other smart people like her.  Let's also assume that there are smart people like her who are part of the Empire.  So if the Holdo Maneuver can cause so much destruction and is SO powerful, why didn't the Empire use it?  Same for the First Order.  Why did they invest all that time, resources, money, and manpower into constructing Death Stars and the Starkiller base when all they really had to do was fly some star destroyers at Hyperspace speed into planets?  The Holdo Maneuver retroactively makes the Death Star and Starkiller Base not only less significant, but also less threatening and less plausible.  

286. In TFA Maz literally says that they all have to fight the First Order together.  But then she is too busy the next day to do so.  Instead involved in some kind of trade dispute or something.

287. We have a character known as DJ based on the words "Don't Join."  Good thing this galaxy has the exact same alphabet as ours.  Oh wait. It doesn't.  Stupid name for a stupid character.

288. Finn should have been a Jedi.  It is hinted that he would be as he wielded a lightsaber.  He was also featured in many promotional posters and images holding the lightsaber, not Rey.  He held is own against Kylo Ren but was ultimately defeated due to lack of experience.  But I assumed we would see him begin training in TLJ.  Nope.

289. Speaking of Finn, this was pointed out to me in a recent YouTube video: Finn became a supporting character in TLJ.  He was the first person we saw in the very first trailer.  He was shown holding a lightsaber in promo posters.  He played a central role in TFA.  But in TLJ, he became a secondary character who is not treated with respect.  In this particular video, I was surprised to see how many times Finn was knocked on his butt (literally).  He falls off the medical table, he is knocked back by the casino planet horse creatures, he is shocked by Rose, he is put on the ground to be executed by the First Order, zapped by the casino police, etc.  It is truly a shame what Rian Johnson did to this once strong, promising character.  

290. We get the message that sacrifice is heroic and awesome when Holdo performs her amazing maneuver.  But then when Finn is about to sacrifice himself, Rose stops him...because now the message is that sacrifice is not necessary.  But then Luke sacrifices himself...so it is necessary.    

291. Why would a human (DJ) need to be found to hack a computer system?  The Star Wars universe has droids for everything.  Just think about everything R2 and BB-8 can do. But hack a computer system?  Oh no, a droid can't do that.  Only a select few humans can pull that off.  

292. Yoda says that "the greatest teacher, failure is."  Luke already learned that in the original trilogy.  He failed to save Han.  Was badly beaten by Vader.  Lost an appendage.  His trip to Cloud City was certainly not a success.  It was a FAILURE.  But he learned from this and grew.  He became more powerful.  He was victorious not only over the Emperor, but over himself (falling to the Dark Side).  Now, supposedly, he has to learn this again?  It invalidates what was accomplished in the original trilogy.  

293.  Luke has "cut himself off from the Force."  This goes against the fundamental "laws" of the Force established in the other trilogies.  In the original trilogy, we are told that the Force is all around us, surrounds us, penetrates us, and binds us all together.  But in TLJ, Luke can just shut it off like flipping a switch.  He can't prevent himself from dying from Force projecting but he can easily just turn off the mystical Force that we are told holds everything together.  

294. Snoke can bounce lightning bolts off the floor and hit a target.  So Force Lightning bounces and has a predictable trajectory?  Or is Snoke just controlling where it goes?  And if so, why wouldn't he just shoot it right at his target (in this case Kylo Ren) instead?  Nope, this was done simply as a "cool effect" but, like many other things done for cool effect, ignores laws of physics/previously established lore.  

295. Kylo Ren's recovery from a severe injury (from the previous movie) is treated with sincerity while Finn's is made into a slapstick comedy (falling off a table, walking around in a ridiculous suit that is leaking).

296. Finn wonders how Rey is going to find them since they've traveled through hyperspace.  He is shown a tracking beacon.  Shortly after, he says that it is impossible that the First Order tracked them through hyperspace.  Shortly after, he says that he knows all about the First Order's hyperspace tracking technology because he served as a custodian on the ship.  

297. How did Kylo escape from inside the Resistance cruiser after shooting torpedoes into it and destroying it?

298. If it was time for the Jedi to end, why didn't Luke burn his robes too?  Seemed like he didn't intend to since he wore them to the tree burning party.

299. Why did Rose feel the need to stop people like Finn from leaving? The Resistance is not a paid occupation or military for a particular government.  More of a volunteer thing.  I would assume that under normal circumstances, anyone who wishes to leave would be allowed to leave.

300. Kylo Ren picks up the gold dice.  How is this possible?  It's a Force projection.  His lightsaber went through Force Projection Luke.  Force Projection Luke didn't make foot prints.  Force Projection Luke has no mass/weight.  So how could the dice?

301. TLJ tries to cram too much anti-stuff into one movie.  It is anti-war, anti-greed, anti-Jedi, anti-men, anti-Force Awakens, anti-OT, anti-expectations.  

302. Why would Snoke need guards with fancy melee weapons?  The emperor had royal guards with staffs.  This was obviously for show.  But these guards have these elaborate weapons for some reason...I know...plot convenience to have a (terribly choreographed) duel with lightsabers.

303. In TPM, it was established that ships couldn't enter lightspeed within a planet's gravity field.  Suddenly in TLJ, that doesn't matter.  

304. In Return of the Jedi, Luke gave Jabba a chance to free him and his friends before he resorted to violence.  Yes Jabba: the crime lord.  The one who kept his best friend frozen on a wall.  The one that kept his sister as a slave.  The one that imprisoned his friend Chewy.  Yes, Luke gave him an out.  He didn't immediately resort to killing.  But his nephew?  He had dark thoughts so I better murder him in his sleep.  

305. How does a weapon wrap around literal energy?   One of Snoke's guard's weapons does just that.  That is impossible, even for a fantasy universe.

306. In addition to the above, why couldn't Rey simply turn off her lightsaber for a moment?  That would release the weapon's hold and allow her to regain an attack advantage.  Or point her lightsaber forward.  Instant death for the guard.

307. Why don't Snoke's guards have weapons that fire (blasters)?  Snoke is supposedly super powerful so why does he even need guards?  Are they purely ceremonial like Emperor Palpatine's in ROTJ?  That would be fine, but then why arm them with such weapons?  And they are obviously well trained/athletic/acrobatic.  Wouldn't it make more sense for ONE of the guards to carry a blaster-type weapon?  If they truly are guards, not having some sort of blaster does not allow them to be effective against someone, say, entering from across the room carrying a rifle.

308. Leia decides to abandon the larger ships because the First Order only tracks the larger ships.  How would she know this?  She wasn't even aware of hyperspace tracking. So how does she know this detail about tracking?

309. Why does no one show up for the Resistance's last stand?  If it was sent out using Leia's personal code and it truly was the last stand, it seems highly implausible that NO ONE would come to help.  They made it pretty clear how desperate they were.  *Note: but they do show up in TROS for some reason.  

310.  Laser blasts don't drop like bullets do due to gravity.  So how do the soldiers firing the lasers against the AT-AT ripoffs on the salt planet manage to hit the ground so often?  Yeah, I know...to make it look cool.  

311. Issues with what Luke did in Kylo's hut are explained in detail above.  But here's another thing...if he ignited his lightsaber in a "moment of weakness," was it really just a moment?  He had to physically walk from his home/sleeping chamber all the way to Kylo's room and sneak inside. Are we really supposed to think that was just a moment of weakness?  Or are we supposed to believe that Luke routinely sneaks into his students' dorm rooms to watch them sleep like some kind of creeper?  






























































































































































Wednesday, June 13, 2018

Ways to Bring Luke Skywalker Back (ALIVE!)

Here are some ways that J.J. Abrams can bring Luke Skywalker back as a living, breathing person in Star Wars Episode IX.

I will admit that most of these are stupid.  But so was The Last Jedi.  And if it takes doing something stupid to get Luke back, so be it.

Listed in no particular order.

1. Rey returns to Ach-to to retrieve Luke's green saber.  She arrives to find him alive and waiting for her.  He has returned via the Gandalf route.  The Force simply sent him back to the living world because his true purpose had yet to be fulfilled.

2. Rey reads the Jedi texts and discovers a Force secret that allows her to bring him back to life.  Since his body was made of matter and that matter disappeared, it just needs to reappear now.  Some weird Jedi ritual can accomplish this.

3. The Luke that "died" in The Last Jedi was actually a clone of the real Luke.  Rey can discover this shocking surprise when she returns to Ach-to to retrieve Luke's other lightsaber.

4. Since Rey is apparently now the most powerful Jedi to ever live, she just suddenly realizes she can summon him back to the living world. Because.

5. Time travel...as presented in Star Wars Rebels.  Heck, a lot of The Last Jedi's nonsense can be un-done with this nonsense.

6. Other Force ghosts decide to channel some weird power to bring him back to life.  Obi-wan, Qui-gon, Yoda, etc. join hands, close their eyes, and he is magically sent back.

7. Leia and Rey said he was "gone."  Gone does not necessarily have to mean dead. He was simply sent to another dimension or "Force realm."  Then he returns in the rebellion's most desperate hour to save the day. 

8. Leia switches places with Luke.  Some dumb, nonsensical ritual is performed and Leia (since Carrie Fisher has passed away) sacrifices herself to bring back her brother.  It can be played off as a really noble event where Leia realizes that her Mary Poppins powers are no match for the First Order.  They need Luke.  So she makes the ultimate sacrifice.  Plus, this is a way around the fact that Leia apparently can't die (outer space = no air, negative 300 degree temperatures).

9. Episode VIII was all a dream!  Finn wakes up from the bacta tank (or whatever that tube thing is) and we discover it was just a horrible nightmare.

10. Episode VIII was all a Force vision that Luke was having!  We pick up right where Rey is handing Luke his saber.  The Last Jedi was what WOULD happen if Luke chose to follow the same path.  So now he accepts the saber, mourns Han, trains Rey, and then they both go battle Kylo and Snoke.

11. Remake episode VIII and this time don't poop all over Luke's character.  He survives and therefore is alive in episode IX.

12. We discover that Ach-to has mysterious powers.  When Luke disappeared he became "one with the island" or some garbage like that.  Then, he is reborn from the remains of the tree that Yoda destroyed...and his hand is back. 

13. We find out that when Jedi pass on, they actually go to some weird realm like Davey Jones' Locker.  Rey has to travel to this realm and bring Luke back. 

14. Rey and Leia were wrong.  He was never really gone or dead.  He simply transported himself somewhere else (perhaps on the island).  Rey arrives and he's there fishing or milking an alien sea cow or something.

15. Using DNA found on Ach-to, a clone of Luke is made. In order for this to work there would have to be some kind of growth acceleration so that Mark Hamill could play the role.