I remember a time when I looked forward to my birthday. I couldn't wait to open presents or reach one of various milestones (16 to drive, 18 to get into clubs, 21 to drink, etc.). But somewhere along the line, birthdays just kind of started sucking.
Today I turned 33 and I realized just how unfun it is to have a birthday now. The older I get the more I realize I can't stop time. There's no going back. There are no more milestones to look forward too. I'd rather go backwards and relive previous milestones.
I think a lot of my frustration stems from the fact that, as depressing as it sounds, I have nothing more to look forward to in life. I'm talking grand scale. I am looking forward to seeing the Blue Jackets play on Saturday, but I'm talking big picture. I'm married, can't look forward to that. I have three kids and do not plan on having more. Can't look forward to that.
Some people suggested that I can look forward to watching my kids grow and seeing them reach milestones of their own. I say phooey to that. I don't want my kids to grow up. I want them to stay young and dependent on me forever. Everytime they reach a milestone, it will just remind me that I'm getting even older and it's just getting closer and closer to the day they move away to live their lives.
So that's the main reason I don't look forward to birthdays anymore. But I can also say that birthdays used to be magical. It was the day you felt special. You felt like the world belonged to you. You felt like the most important person on the planet. You couldn't wait to open your presents and blow out the candles. Now, the only reason I even have a cake is to please my children. It's so neat to see how excited they get about it and how special THEY feel for helping to make the cake and for giving me a present.
So I guess I have to admit, that part of birthdays still provides me with some joy. But they are just not what they used to be. To me, birthdays are just reminders that "you ain't gettin' any younger."